Have you ever thought that someone was deliberately ignoring you or deceiving you behind your back? How did you feel in that moment? Were you frustrated, hurt, angry or upset? How about when you found out that they had not done it to begin with? How did you feel then? Did you feel embarrassed or upset with yourself? Did you feel stupid?
Well, I think the real question here should be, how were you able to feel those emotions of deceit, betrayal and pain, even though it never happened? Let’s do a little exercise… Think of someone or something you really love for a moment. It could be a parent, child, nephew, friend, or pet. Really feel them next to you. Feel their touch, hug or smile. Think about the cute or funny things they do. Think about how safe you feel when they are around. Take a minute, close your eyes and imagine their presence. Before you read on, do this, it’s an essential part of what’s to come. Go!
I’m assuming you did it…
Did you just feel full of love as if that person was actually there with you? Does the very thought of them bring a smile to your face? Take a look around, are they there? The reason this happens is because your mind doesn’t know the difference between something you are actually experiencing, and something that is only in your mind.
What you focus on you will surely feel.
So by knowing you have this power, how quickly can you change the way you feel? In order for us to fully enhance the quality of our life, and achieve at our peak, we must choose wisely in the way our attention is being focused. Life is defined on the notion that our mind is definitely going to find what we focus on. Now whether that is a blessing or a curse is entirely up to you, as you’re in control of directing that thought. It becomes so frustrating when the experiences that we don’t want to keep showing up, constantly do. The reason they show themselves so often is because we are putting so much energy toward them. We notice them! When we focus on the things we don’t want, we get more of them. That uneasiness then begins to consume our reality. This may create a feeling of hopelessness, anger, and disappointment until other areas of our life suffer because of our inner turmoil. It’s quite obvious in everyday life. When you are feeling angry, everything outside will seem distorted and get under your skin. When you are irritated about something, everything will seem to irritate you. When you are happy, then everything seems great. It’s a law of life—there is no escaping it. We must learn to enhance our emotional fitness, and that comes from what we choose to focus on. When you continue to focus on what you want, your whole demeanor adapts to your desire. Your body language, vocabulary, tone of voice, and even subconscious reactions all shift to mold you into the person you need to be to get it.
Don’t make things you don’t want a priority in your life. If you do, they will consume your reality.
Even in an advanced driving course, the instructor will stress that directing your focus is a crucial part of survival. It is said that if we look at the pole or a tree whilst losing control, we automatically get drawn to the object. The same principle goes for every area of our life. The more we look and focus on not having enough money, always seeming to find the wrong partner, someone not letting you live your dream, not having enough resources, not having the time, or always being sick, to name a few—they become stronger. Your mind is going to find every way to attract the things you focus on.
Daniel Chidiac- Author of Who Says You Can’t? YOU DO